Life in the Void

Star Trauth-Artist

I am Not Hysterical You Quack, Detail, 2021

I Need You to Hear Me, 2021,

“Advocate for yourself because often, as a woman, you will not be taken seriously.”

–Star Trauth

I am excited to be invited to #virtualSPAR to share through art and anecdotes my last year(and counting) in the void. 

By void I am referring to the life lived until my illness and the life yet to begin once I’m healed. I have been told by doctors returning to my previous life is not possible. I have to author a new one. It’s scary and I’m hoping this is one of many creative paths that will assist me in transitioning into something other than a patient.

I knew something was very wrong. In truth, I was dying. For months I tried to convince a few incompetent and lackadaisical doctors that my symptoms were serious and to do something about it. Even though I had physical symptoms these doctors suggested deep breathing, herbal teas, and antidepressants. All of which are great. That said, I’m positive they aren’t going to stop internal bleeding or treat cancer.

I was frustrated at not being heard. However, I was livid when the doctor went ahead and called in the prescription for those antidepressants. Even though I objected, it was added to my family’s prescriptions, and made it’s way to me. 

I channel a lot of feelings through artistic endeavors and this was no exception. The mixed media art shown was made with the pills that were forced on me, spare canvas, and digital manipulation.

I have a lot to tell you, it’s unraveling slowly. I feel fragmented and in many ways I am after intensive radiation and chemotherapy. So that’s all for now.

I am not Hysterical You Quack, 2021

I am not Abandoning Her Rights, 2021,

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