In addition to my previous post I wanted to share this recent video called Dinner Party. It’s based on a series of self-portraits I took in the spring of 2020, while being confined by myself in a friend’s apartment in Bucharest (more precisely stuck in there alone for three months) during the first Covid-19 lockdown. I was experiencing extreme anxiety and panic attacks at the time, and the restrictions were quite severe in Romania so the feeling of isolation was also very present. Taking those pictures of myself playing different personas was a mean of coping with solitude and angst, but also a reaction to the pressure of staying actively connected, going on and performing our different (professional and not only) roles on social media and taking over the online meeting platforms that were rising more than ever. Adapting to a new kind of routine, where most of the connections were made online.

There was a lot of talking and hopeful speculations about how this pandemic will transform us, how staying home in isolation will be a new kind of opportunity to be alone and (re)connect with ourselves, so many online meditation and workout routines popping-up in order to support our moral, our bodies and all those theories. But I just wonder if in exchange we didn’t distance from our(true)selves even more, rather investing time and new resources in our digital personas – the only ones that remained most socially connected and active under a mask of normality and Kylie Jenner make up, while we were actually laying on the sofa wearing sweaty pyjamas, anxiety and tears. Xoxo

Dinner Party, Maria Guta, video, 5′, 2021 (sound design by FlexFab)